Have you ever wondered how deeply your words and actions can affect someone? This is something I think about often. Especially with the increase use of social media these days and even just the simple fact that I have a nine year old daughter that I want to make sure is prepared to navigate through friend relationships and feel good about the connections she makes. I believe it all starts at home. Not only do kids have to be taught to be respectful and kind, but they need to experience it.
When I was an elementary school teacher, I would focus on teaching the children to treat others with kindness. In a world filled with uncertainty around every corner, it is important to show appreciation, even if it is just something small. Have you heard of the concept “be a bucket filler, not a bucket dipper”? This was something I would spend each day emphasizing to my students! It was such an easy concept to teach the little ones! If only it were just as easy to teach adults! 😋
The concept is based on a book by Carol McCloud titled Have You Filled A Bucket Today?. Within it, she illustrates how every one of us carries an “invisible bucket” where we store our positive thoughts and feelings about ourselves. When someone is kind to us, or shows us that they understand us in some way, we store that in our bucket. Throughout the day, our bucket can be filled by others. A simple “thank you for taking out the trash” or “I’m so happy for you” can fill the bucket. Having the door opened for you or someone helping out when you drop your things, can also fill the bucket. Words and actions which demonstrate how others see you and want you to have your best day possible, will help you feel your best. Therefore, filling your bucket and you with happiness. ♥️
However, there are also “bucket dippers”. These are the people who take from your bucket. They don’t help build you up, but instead, they tear you down. These individuals focus on being negative, whether it’s not saying “thank you” or making rude comments, or just being plain demeaning. These are examples of bucket dippers. The people who take the happiness right out from under you, stealing all of your positive thoughts and feelings, leaving you sad, and your bucket empty.
I think it’s super important to teach our kids to practice this concept! In my first grade classroom, we had a large bucket that we kept at the front of the room. Okay it was really a jar…but, same thing, you know what I mean. 😊 Every time I noticed an act of kindness from any student in the class, I would add a marble. It could be another student helping another student, someone being kind to another, someone being respectful, anything positive really! When the bucket was full, our class had a reward party! We had lots of ice-cream parties, pizza parties, and extra recesses because those kids learned quickly that the being a bucket filler made everyone happy and more successful!
When we do our best, it’s because we feel our best. Our minds are wired to focus on the positive, we strive for it. Nevertheless, one simple negative comment from someone else can destroy all that we have worked for. We push ourselves to be praised in all aspects of our life. I know when someone gives me a compliment, or even just smiles in my direction, I feel like they see me. This makes me feel good. We should all want others to feel good too.
My question is, are you a bucket filler or a bucket dipper? Think about it for a second. Were you kind to someone today? Did you show love today? Did you find something positive to say to someone instead of the negative? Did you know that it takes a lot more positive comments to erase the lasting effects one has from a negative comment?
We definitely need to be more mindful of others. In all aspects of our life. In person and even online. Maybe especially online, because some people feel protected by the anonymity and tend to find it easier to tear people down. Sometimes we neglect to realize just how much we affect others.
Don’t forget, when we fill someone else’s bucket, we also fill our own. Focus on making others happy, and I can assure you, this will also make you feel happy too! Today, you could be standing next to someone who is doing their best not to fall apart. Whatever you do, please do it with the mindfulness of their feelings. You could change a person’s outlook on the world, help build someone’s confidence and self-esteem, or even save someone’s life.
Check out the books below by clicking HERE! They make great gifts!
Thanks again for reading… I hope you always get something out of my writing. Please leave a comment, I’d love to hear from you! Love you all!
xoxo,
~m
I love that 😃 kindness goes a long way I’m always about positivity my mom raised my sisters and I to treat people the way we want to be treated and to always help others when I give back to those in need I feel so good it’s better to live in a kind, supportive, giving world than a negative one I’ve been around negative people here and there in my life and even gotten mean comments online especially on Twitter last summer someone called me horse face the person also said I should hide my face and I can’t sing no talent it hurt a lot I cried and started shaking but thankfully there were two amazing kind girls that stood up for me Alyssa Lucero and a limelight name Dani we’ve been friends ever since then and I’m still singing today getting closer to my dreams not letting mean comments get to me anymore thank you for always spreading kindness Mrs. Herron I wish there was more people like you in this world ❤️
Very nice! Can’t wait to share these ideas with my grands!
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aww i love your heart. couldn’t agree more with all you said. i honestly think i’m a bucket filler and everyone around me says they feel motivated and free whenever they talk to me about their problems. i love helping people. today, i helped my cousin do her english homework and got so happy with only a “thank you, i couldn’t have done this all without you.” it feels great to make someone’s day and also to make your own day! sometimes us bucket fillers can be too busy helping others that we might forget about our own needs so don’t forget about taking care of yourself too! also i didn’t know you were a teacher, i’m glad some lucky children got prepared for this world by you.
i love this post Myta, i hope we all have more of bucket fillers in this world other than bucket dippers. thank you for reminding me all this again <3
I have a son who is 9 and sending him to school where I know kids can be so mean is terrifying for me. He is so kind hearted and sweet. He would be a bucket filler but I know some kids pick on him. It breaks my heart when he tells me that someone was mean to him. I wish all teachers did what you did.
Author
Thank you for your comment, Tiffany. I know exactly what you mean. The hardest part about parenting is wanting to protect our kids from all things. Just a suggestion but maybe you can purchase the book for your child’s teacher as a gift…then it’s like a subtle way to say…here you go, try this! Or next time you have a conference with the teacher just let her know that this is something you’re doing at home with your children and it’s really working! Then maybe, she will think it’s a good idea and incorporate it into her classroom. ❤️Keep me posted!
So true
I would like to think of myself as a bucket filler. I try to spread kindness wherever I go. This one really hit home for me because it’s true. Our world can be so negative that we have no choice, but to be positive
This is absolutely true. Being kind to others goes a long way. You never know what that other person is going through. Just by smiling or saying hi could make that person’s day. Such a great blog Myta. Prayers to you and your beautiful family.
If you do see this. I’m sending you and your family a BIG HUG ❤️ squeeze Zach extra tight. I wish I can hug him right now
This is so true Myta! Thnk you for share this to the world. Lot of love from Argentina
Such a meaningful blog, being a kind person is not hard. One smile, a compliment, or simply helping someone can change their whole day and outlook. This world would be such a happier place if we all would continue to “fill the bucket”.
This is so true!!!!